142 Staircases

  • Title: ‘142 Staircases’
  • Band: The Pumpkin Pasties
  • Album: Magic With Them By My Side (2012)

Well, I’m lost again in the Hogwarts castle
I was meant to be at Charms by ten, but now it’s half past twelve
And I’m wondering if I’ll ever arrive at my intended destination
If I’ll get there alive, ’cause there are

So many passages, so many twists and turns
This whole place a riddle which I will never learn
And everything is magical, and that has its price
When even the statues move around at night

And there are one hundred and forty-two
Staircases I never knew existed, but I guess they do
And even when I get there, they take me somewhere new
Yeah, they do

Well, I told my friends I would meet them down in the Great Hall
But two hours later, I’m thinking, ‘Does it exist at all?’
Because this castle is a maze, and I’m only eleven
I think I could be getting lost here by my year seven

There are secret passageways, secret doors and traps
It’s a bloody wonder this place has never been mapped
And I tried to use a compass, but I mixed up north and west
And I get magical interference on my GPS

And there are one hundred and forty-two
Staircases I never knew existed, but I guess they do
And even when I get there, they take me somewhere new
Yeah, they do

And as much as I love it, there couldn’t be a worse place to be
For a directionally challenged first-year like me

And sometimes the walls just pretend to be doors
And I get the feeling that I’ve been here before
You never quite know what’s gonna be in store
And stay away from the third-floor corridor

There are one hundred and forty-two
Staircases I never knew existed, but I guess they do
And even when I get there, they take me somewhere new
Yeah, they do

And as much as I love it, there couldn’t be a worse place to be
For a directionally challenged first-year like me

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