Christmas Poo


An Enchanted Christmas (2006), Back to The Burrow (2011)

I decorate my stall each year
In hopes that Santa will appear
But he won’t make a trip
Up my toilet, oh no

I know that Santa will explore
In Hufflepuff and Gryffindor
And even bring the Slytherins
A few lumps of coal

Every year, my Christmas spirit dies
‘Cause I don’t get a Christmas surprise

Santa’s getting brown cookies from me today
Slightly lumpy, not quite chocolate faecal decay
I know the cookies look delicious; they made you drool
But guess what, Santa? They’re the defecation of the school

I’m sorry, Santa, but, you see
That you have been ignoring me
I haven’t got a single gift
That I have asked for

You brought me a crying boy
But I would rather have a toy
Unless I had the chance
To get with Harry and score

When you get an urgent bathroom rush
You will find that no one here has flushed

Santa’s getting brown cookies from me today
Slightly lumpy, not quite chocolate faecal decay
I know the cookies look delicious; they made you drool
But guess what, Santa? They’re the defecation of the school

Jingle Bells, Santa smells
You thought you were fly
Now you’re through
‘Cause you ate poo
And you have E. coli

Hermione Granger
Hermione Granger
Hermione Granger
Eat poo too, hey!

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