The Ballad of Mr. Percy Weasley

  • Title: ‘The Ballad of Mr. Percy Weasley’
  • Band: Peeved
  • Album: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! (2009)

Sometimes throughout our lives, we all meet idiotic fools
People who delight in nothing more than disregarding rules
So if your present company just isn’t quite what it ought to be
Then maybe I can lend a hand … you see …

I am Percy Weasley, Mr Percy Weasley
The kind of lad you’d invite around for tea
I’m pleasant and polite and incredibly bright
And I’ve got a glowing record at the magic Ministry

I am Percy Weasley, not in the least bit sleazy
Dapper in robes and even Muggle suits
I’m amazingly delightful; my comments quite insightful
And a large number of ‘O’s in my OWLs and in my NEWTs

I am Percy Weasley; my music’s never cheesy
My slender voice always hits the right notes
No matter what you’ve heard from George, please don’t believe a word
I’m not that close with Aberforth and I’ve never played with goats

(I used to be Head Boy, you know.)

I will admit there have been times when things haven’t turned out right
You might even say they turned out slightly wrong
But really, what the hell! On these thoughts we shouldn’t dwell
Especially when we’re in the middle of such a jolly song

I am Percy Weasley; if you’re ever feeling queasy
I’ll flick my wand and make you right as rain
It’s really quite alarming just how good I am at charming
With me around, you’ll never feel the urge to retch again

I am Percy Weasley, Mr Percy Weasley
But I really must be leaving presently
I’m truly pleased to have met you, but I doubt that could come close to
How pleased you must have been to have met me

(That’s Percy!)

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