Pretty Girl

  • Title: ‘Expelliarmus Kid’
  • Band: Peeved
  • Album: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! (2009)

Pretty girl, walking through the corridors
Hanging out with her fellow Gryffindors
Pretty girl, she’s got nothing on her mind
Until she hears an annoying voice behind

Which says …
‘Oh, hi there, Hermione. Um, sorry to bother you, but, um, you know that Potions essay we’ve got to do by tomorrow, for Snape? Well, um, you see, I’ve been really busy with Quidditch practice and stuff and I — I still haven’t gotten round to starting it, so, er, could I just have a little look at yours? Please?’

And she says:
‘OK, Harry, I’ll save your neck again
OK, Harry, but just because we’re friends
And this is the last time’

Pretty girl, lying on the grass in the sun
Done her schoolwork; she’s ready to have some fun
Pretty girl, a little bored but she don’t care
Suddenly, a whiny voice comes from nowhere

And says …
‘Er, hey, Hermione. Um, you know the Triwizard Tournament task that’s coming up this afternoon, um, in about, er, an hour and a half? Well, you see, I– I know I told you I’d, like, sorted everything out weeks ago, but, um, I’ve got nothing really. Er, any ideas?’

And she says:
‘OK, Harry, I’ll save your life again
OK, Harry, but just because we’re friends
And this is the last time now’

Pretty girl, finally got some time alone
With her folks, her Muggle family at home
Suddenly, an explosion shakes the walls
Door flies open, in a battered body falls

And says …
‘Hermione, phew. Good I found you. Yeah, I ran into Voldemort just now, and it didn’t go too well. So he was OK to start off with — like, I just threw a few Expelliarmuses at him, and that was fine — but then I just didn’t know what to do next, so I thought I’d come and ask you, but then he started chasing me, and he was, like, hexing me all over the place, you know, and all that stuff, and … er … yeah … well … er … He’s right outside actually right now, um … I think he just blew up Crookshanks, actually … sorry about that.’

And she says:
‘OK, Harry, I’ll save the world again
OK, Harry, and even though we’re friends
This is the last time
Yeah, it’s really the last time
Absolutely the last time now’

Pretty girl, grabs her wand and runs outside
He’s standing there; flashes of light start to collide
As the air clears, a body hits the floor
Pretty girl; she just defeated Voldemort

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