Buzz Worthy (The Quibbler Song)

  • Title: ‘Buzz Worthy (The Quibbler Song)’
  • Band: KwikSpell
  • Album: Magic 101 (2008)

Hey, did you know that Draco really has red hair?
It skipped a generation; made for awkward conversation
Pow! And now he’s taking over-the-counter
Counter-jinxes, curses, spells and permeating lotion
Just to change his curtains blonde, but probably not his rug

Hey, did you know that Neville scored perfect NEWTs and OWLs to boot?
Took courses in psychology and social anthropology
And now, oh wow, Imperio on Dr Phil
Just to medicate America in weekday afternoon one-hour blocks

I don’t lie; no, I just rely on The Quibbler
There’s nothing simpler
My friends think I’m deranged, but take a look: there’s nothing strange
You’ll find out all the things that they’ve been hiding
Hiccup cures and werewolf sightings

And I’ll bet you didn’t know Seamus, Jordan and Ginny
Had a secret club meeting underneath the Quidditch pitch
I’m sorry; I don’t mean to snitch
But they had rocket pony races, roller coasters, aerial aces
And some sort of Loch Ness creature that can do back flips

I didn’t see it with my eyes
But that don’t mean it don’t surprise me
To find out what I missed, post-class with Madam Hooch

No, I don’t lie; no, I just rely on The Quibbler
There’s nothing simpler
My friends tell me I’m daft, but if you sit and do the math
You’ll find out all the things that they’ve been hiding
Don’t look shocked; it’s in the writing

No, I don’t lie; no, I just rely on The Quibbler
Yeah, every day
Read it every day
For me, this time today
Subscribe today, today, today, today
Today, today, today and today

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